Wednesday 22 June 2016

Sciatica: Trying to Kick Yer



I’m still struggling with sitting but I can now walk without a stick and put weight back on the offending limb. It is conscious-making pain. I’ve never even considered the nerves running though my legs. I didn’t even know what a piriformis was.

   Initially I fashioned a stick out of the hoover tube, but R drew the line at going outside like this, so bought me a walking stick. This was interesting. As I struggled along I suddenly saw loads of people with sticks. If I hadn’t been in so much pain I would have high-fived them.

   Now I can do stairs and walking. I still can’t imagine running, jumping climbing trees. I am slow. And I’m not a slow person; I’m a fast walker usually, late, urgent, whizzy. But alas, no longer. Now, I don’t so much saunter, nor do I plod; I have that special deliberate walk of the very elderly. Everything is considered, measured. Small steps. Sometimes I feel like I’m not moving, that’s how slow I’m going. I have promised myself never to be impatient behind a Slowy again.

   I am blessed with a wonderfully kind spouse. I have been a hideosity; huffed and sighed and sworn, shrieked and moaned. I wouldn’t want to live with me at the moment.

   I am stretching, the NHS way. Oh yes, I now know where my piriformis is. When I first saw these stretches I laughed at the possibility of ever doing them. Since my meds have kicked in I’ve been performing them slavishly, twice a day, and following my father’s advice, hanging off our chin-up bar. I did at first also poo-poo this as too athletic but apparently his doctor told him to hang from a tree branch and he tells me he was cured within two hours. (This may mean he hung from a tree branch for two whole hours!)

   On day four I went for a sports massage with the magical Elisa. The usual five minute jog to her house took me thirty minutes. The massage was great, painful in a positive way and I am gradually improving. Advice to self: whenever I see a suitable tree branch I will hang off it and I promise to keep my piriformis stretchy.

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