Sunday, 26 February 2017

Fantastic Pair (Eavesdropping on the Shard)

‘Oh Ava, I can’t believe what you’ve done to yourself.’
‘I thought it was a brilliant idea. Look, let me show you. I just need to unbutton-’
‘Whoever’s done this to you should be struck off. It’s unethical. God, I feel sick.’
‘That’s just your vertigo. I knew that lift would make you nauseous.’
‘No, I feel sick about what you’ve done.’
‘When you see them you might change your mind. Here, hold my jacket.’
‘It’s every sort of wrong. You needed a psychiatrist, Ava, not a plastic surgeon. My God, they’re ridiculous!’
‘I think they’re beautiful. James agrees.’
‘Well James bloody would. They’re enormous.’
‘You’re meant to be supportive.’
‘Christ, Ava, I don’t think I can. Why didn’t you talk to me?’
‘I don’t know, it was a very personal decision.’
‘I didn’t know you were unhappy with how you were.’
‘I suppose I always felt I was missing something, like I wasn’t quite complete. But now I am. Look at the way they move. Do you want a feel?’
‘No I do not. Can you put them away please? People are staring.’
‘I want to show them to the world.’
‘I don’t know if the world is quite ready for your-’
‘You’re just jealous. I thought you of all people would be happy for me.’                  
‘Sorry Ava, it’s just a real shock… Are they functional?’
‘Dr Vogel promised they would be. I still need to try them out. That’s why I suggested meeting here.’
‘Here? Now!?’
‘Yes. You’re my best friend, I wanted you to be the first to witness this. Could you take my phone please? I’m just setting it to video so you can capture everything.’
‘You know I’m no good with technology.’
‘Just press the button and it will record.’
‘Um, ok, right, pressing. Yep, you’re on the screen. More importantly, I can’t let you go through with this, Ava. You might kill yourself.’
‘Or I might fly like a bird.’
‘Please don’t. If you don’t kill yourself, then you might kill me. I could have a heart attack just watching you.’
‘Don’t be absurd, you’re as strong as an ox.’
Me absurd?’
‘Actually, if anything does happen to me, you get everything, ok? Don’t let James get a penny. He’d just spend it on beer and cryogenics. Look after him though.’
‘Can’t you find a safer environment? What about over water? What about a diving board over a swimming pool?’
‘Where’s the spectacle in that? No, this has got to be remarkable. You’re still filming, aren’t you?’
‘Yes, you bloody nutter.’
‘Now, wish me luck.’
‘Good luck, Ava.’ 
‘Here goes!’