Flash: Hindsight

Wednesday! Oh, if only I could travel back to Tuesday and warn myself not to open the door. But open it I did; and in he came. ‘Routine boiler inspection,’ he said. Flashed his badge at me and before I could offer him a cuppa he had his head in my under-stairs cupboard.
He had one of those terrible builders’ bottoms and I’m afraid that’s where the trouble started. I couldn’t look at it and I couldn’t not look at it so I decided to cover it with a doily. He was somewhat affronted. I tried to explain that there wasn’t anything wrong with his bottom, it was rather nice actually; I just didn’t want it peeking out at me. ‘I could decommission this system,’ he said, ‘could say it was past its sell-by-date.’ Well, I didn’t like his insinuation. As you know, my boiler is still very effective and naively I decided to take him on.
I tell you, I’d give my eyeteeth for a time machine now.